Confessions of an Ishtar Lover

Are we defined by the movies we like? I think maybe we are. If I were going to start a service to put like-minded people together, I’d have them list their favorite movies of all time, and also the movies they most hated.

If I filled out a questionnaire like that, I’d end up with somebody weird enough to think Ishtar was hilarious, and that Johnny Dangerously was brilliant. Whenever I meet somebody who agrees that those two movies had the cleverest dialogue ever written, I’m sure they are highly intelligent beings. If they can’t let a year go by without re-watching Defending Your Life, and cry every time they watch it, we’re bound to be soul mates. If they love Juno, Magnolia, Jesus’ Son, Harold and Maude, Gran Torino, and anything with Robert Duvall or William Seymour Hoffman, that’s just icing on the cake. Ditto if they loved movies directed by Almodovar. And they would absolutely have to be crazy about all the Peter Sellers movies, especially Being There.

On the other hand, I could never live compatibly with anybody who liked Dances With Wolves or Forest Gump. We might be able to co-exist if they were crazy about Knocked Up, or The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, but just barely. If they loved James Bond movies, that would be okay. I could also live with an anime aficionado, or one who watched a lot of Kurosawa movies, but they’d have to use ear phones.

Next time somebody asks me why I live alone, I’ll give them my lists of movie favorites and hates. That’ll explain everything.


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